Yesterday we lit the third candle for Advent, the Joy candle. It honestly sounds a little cheesy as I type it, "Joy candle", like something housed in a elegant jar at Anthropologie, to be purchased for a small fortune in hopes of sending the scent of Joy throughout my house.
The Angels tell the Shepherds in Luke 2 "Fear Not! We bring you good news of Great JOY!" Joy and fear paired up in the same greeting. The word for fear in that verse is the Greek word "Phobeo" and has in its meaning "to put to flight, to flee". In others words, leave so you don't have to present anymore. Of course there is the physical fleeing we do, but there is also an emotional flight, fleeing your feelings because to stay with them feels undoable, unpleasant and frightening. What is it we want to flee and how might that correlate with Joy today?
I believe there is a propensity to flee sorrow. Our world offers us a million distractions every day to keep us from having to stay with our sorrow. And yet, it is in staying with our sorrow, sitting with it, that we also experience joy. They are inseparable.
I think we have been mislead to equate joy with happiness, and so we pursue happiness which allows us to run from sorrow and declare ourselves victors as we fill our lives and with passing "happy" things.
Joy and happiness are very different to me. Happiness is based on our circumstances. Choosing to be "happy" can feel plastic to me, often lacking depth.
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." Khalil Gibran
I believe Gibran's words to be true, I have found them true in my own life. I believe that Joy and Sorrow can be contained in the same frame.
Last week I found myself tearful as I watched this commercial.
I cried because I loved the story of loss and sorrow and joy intermingled in just a few moving moments of video. I cried because I could create my own two minute version of a story of loss and sorrow and joy intermingled. (I suspect you could do the same.)
We shared one such story yesterday as we lead the Sunday morning class with our deepening community group at church. Part of that story included telling about a couple of years ago wandering through Hobby Lobby with my daughter Allison when we found a sign that said JOY, a huge sign, that we bought and placed next to the front door for Christmas. It served as a reminder every time we walked through the door that Joy had been present, was present and would be present again. In the midst of sorrow and deep loss we wanted to hold onto Joy also. It could not be manufactured, but we could be intentional about noticing it when it was present, even if it felt minuscule in comparison with the ache.
The sign stayed outside our door, all the way through the sale of our home in Kalamazoo. Joy in December and the dead of winter. Joy as spring came and went and summer too. Joy day after day for nearly 18 months.
The day after Thanksgiving I pulled it out again and placed by our new front door. Grateful for the memories it holds, grateful that the season of needing by the front door passed, grateful to have it once again adorn our Christmas decor for all who pass by our home.
The Joy candle has been lit, it is the week leading up to Christmas. Can you let sorrow and joy be held in the same frame this week? Can the Great Joy of Jesus, God with Us, mingle with your sorrow and leave you present for this week of Advent?
I so hope it can.